Still standing.
20 August 2008 @ 15:45 ; 0 CommentsCheese curry I'm hungry.
On Monday, Mr Changi dragged me out of the house (don't worry, (un)fortunately there's no hair pulling, feet dragging, wailings involved. More like civil texts and phone calls) to go all the way to some foreign sector of Singapore (okay so it's Bukit Timah. You can't blame me it is situated at some ulu place. Much like NP since it is nearby) to meet up with Agnes B. for some belated birthday celebration and exchanging of present (definitely not me on the giving and receiving end.) Of course there were oohs and ahhs and wahs. Isn't it just nice to receive presents?
So we got to talking about the usuals. Catching up on school (Agnes), work (Mr C) and the current void I am filling up with brain decay. "I wish I could just stay at home and relax," the two of them lamented. Oh how I wish otherwise, dudes. Another case of the grass being greener on the other side.
First off- I'm not a fan of questions asking what am I doing now. Because I believe it's an intrusion of privacy, and because I am a very private person (well I do believe so), if anyone would notice I would put on a mask before answering such stuff. And ultimately the reason why I abhor such a question would only be due to the fact that I am somewhat embarrassed about the state of it all. Compared to other people, I am just lounging at home. Sleeping. Eating. Shitting. Occupying my time with leisure.
To me, bumming at home = leeching off parental's money. Back then it was a proper thought, seeing as I was still schooling and all. But now, after the diploma, the two-year stint with the green folks, it's time to earn your own keep. And of course I am only deriving to that because I am in such a funk. Hence the reason why I hardly would want to go out nowadays, despite missing all my friends terribly. I don't really want people to treat me like an unfortunate case. It's the dignity/pride/self-respect in me. It's just too high and mighty. Even if I know they mean well. And eventually I would cave. (Yes, there is such a thing as a free lunch. And dinner. Supper. Desert. Cab rides.) (Okay okay I'm not extorting my situation. Despite my free wheeling moral compass I do maintain some proper decorum.)
I guess people would be more than willing to trade their current activities for mine. I mean, who wouldn't want to just relek one corner and do nothing but rot? Of course, there comes a point when it can just seemingly be too much to handle. Before, I was dreaming of going to school, attending lectures and tutorials, engaging with schoolmates this time today. Now I have no proper direction to head towards except looking for a job. And even then it's not gravy.
Are there no companies in this country that are willing to employ me? I know I am a wonderful person to work with, really. I am smart and works hard (right now not for the money). So what's the problem? Just last week I went for an interview whereby the person who I met up with told me (I would've said warned but it's not really all that bad after awhile) about the job that I was hoping to get. Basically it's not all that pretty. None of it registered at that point of time until I left the place to meet up with Queen B. (Don't worry kids, I am over it now. I am surprised by my own resilience. Maybe it's the getting older-being independent gene.)
In the meantime, as I continue my job hunt, I shall go and sleep. Since it's the only few activities I can do to while the time away. Hmmm.
Is it Wednesday already?
