Dreams.
01 September 2008 @ 16:00 ; 0 CommentsDreams of an impossible prince.
Sometimes it gets a little worrisome when you observe the ways of Singaporeans. Scarily enough, despite the fact that we have a lot of good things in our lives, everyone is still generally not happy with what they have. Isn't that sad? Whatever that we have, that we are comfortable with, still can only provide little to appease us. In our eyes, we always want what we mostly can't have. Or will take years to have. We are always dreaming of bigger things. Sure sure, people always say to not give up on our dreams, to pursue them until we get them, but really, what is the use of pursuing them when these dreams are just unfounded, materialistic wantings?
We all talk of those elusive "five C's"; let me see if I can remember them- car, cash, condo, country club, credit card (in no order of preference). Do these pursuits still exist today? Have Singaporeans grown past that phase or perhaps - even better - eradicated such worthless dreams for soul nourishing stuff instead?
I am not being self-righteous or anything here, but I for one have never been sucked into the whole "chasing the five C's" thing myself. In my opinion, it just sucks the life out of you and eventually, you are so consumed with all those materialistic chasings until eventually, your body is just a pod of nothingness. Cash has never been a top priority of mine, even if it helps immensely in the social aspect of it all. I mean, I can't possibly pay my way of life using banana notes or leaves. Although nowadays that certain "c" has been depleted almost entirely. And for the rest of them, I don't think I would want to live in a condo, even though the thought of it is just luxurious; country club serves nothing but boring golf courses and expensive membership payments; ditto for credit cards (and an elective I took in poly greatly dissuaded me from signing up for one of those even though it's convenient); lastly, I have a terrible phobia for public driving. Which was why I dropped out of my driving course during NS. Ehem.
Yesterday Arts Central had a telecast of Singapore Dreaming for their FilmArt slot, and I must say it was not bad a movie, actually. I am slowly warming up to the idea of local productions. I mean, for every Jack Neo film that there are always a couple of gems waiting to be unearthed and viewed. What I really liked about the film was that it took no qualms in showcasing the ugly, "truthful" side to Singaporeans, and what all that chasing can ultimately do to you in the end. And the good thing about the movie was that it didn't try to lull us into a sense of happy ending; eventually the movie wrapped up in a bittersweet manner. Some people got their just desserts, others were thankful for what they got.
It is a bittersweet dream that I am pursuing too right now, which is to be a writer. Most of the time my dreams get shattered and then reassembled and shattered and reassembled time and time again, but I am not giving up that easily. Yes, I have to concede that some time now I would have to take some minor detours before I will eventually reach my goals but I know that I want to make it there. Or really, anything that involves with working in the media I am extremely happy. But being a writer is still my ultimate profession.
To be honest I never really drew up any dreams/goals/aspirations when I was growing up. I was a floater, if you can call it that, just living life as it was, day by day, with not much ambitions to strive for. I don't recall in primary school having any ideal jobs to work hard towards. During secondary school too, though I did proclaim to really want to aim for Mass Communications in poly (which, if you should know by now, got shot down because of the interview. But I've moved on, yes yes.) Then nothing much in poly, because I was basically having fun. Making friends. Growing more out of my shell. I guess as I got older then all these "adult" behaviours starting sprouting out of nowhere. Like, having ambitions and chasing dreams and getting a job and making money and that sort. Loaded with stress too. Aigooo.
Life can be funny, eh. Whatever that we have build up to achieve, sometimes it gets demolished. And whatever that we didn't set out to grab, will end up in our hands. Hmmm. Am I saying that I shouldn't pursue being a writer? Hmmmm. Decisions, decisions. Dreams of an impossible prince.
