Never too late.
12 September 2008 @ 11:15 ; 0 CommentsThe ship has sailed.
Yesterday I was out with The Queen Bee and Lady K and we all had an awesome time. Books and laughter and intellectual stimulations, oh my! I am really glad that we threesome were able to get along with one another swimmingly. Oh! just to be able to have more people around and bask in the atmosphere and partake in the festivities. Of course, like all good things, it has to come to an end. But that's not the last of it, is it?
We made our way home, until it was only The Queen and myself. We got to talking about certain issues, and then this cropped up. I swear this is the last time I will be talking about this, because honestly it's of no use trying to flog a dead horse.
Why is it that must it always be us who have to be the ones to back down, the ones to offer the olive branches, the ones who have to painstakingly take on the responsibilities of trying to coordinate every single thing in order just to get everyone together? No one really knows what it's like to be in our position; I wish it were that easy to swap places so that people can see with their own eyes how it really feels like.
People rely on you for a lot of things, but when it comes down to the crunch, do they really think of you? Humans are made in this world to be selfish, so why I am so naive as to be the one who wants to act as the hero instead? It's that firstborn complex, I know, and deep in my heart of hearts I wholly put other people's needs before my own, so why is it that time and time again it felt like it's all not worth it, and I'm getting a slap on my face instead? A stab on the back? Too harsh, oh too harsh, I can tell what you're thinking. But you can't help those feelings and thinking, no?
And so I have decided; from now on, I want to be selfish too! There's not a single altruistic bone left in my body, I am reserving that for people who care for me and are deserving of my attention. Let them look for me instead. I have washed my hands clean of all this.
For the final time, I have unleashed my heart really wants to scream out and said what needs to be said a long time coming. (Getting a little too emo here. Hmmm. Must be this Malaysian drama that's affecting me.)
Kylie once sang, "It's never too late we still got time/ It's never too late you'll still be mine/ It's never too late to change your mind." But is it a case of being too little too late now?
