Wouldn't change a thing.
06 September 2008 @ 06:56 ; 0 CommentsThat's the thing about love.
I was posted to Sembawang Camp as I was serving out the remainder of my national
It was there where I was introduced to new friends. Now, let me tell you these bunch of guys are not many I have ever encountered- not so straight-laced and most of the time up for some fun, I was surprised at how easily and seamlessly I blended into the group. Mr Sim Lim, the new addition of our group. Initially shy, quiet, cold, unresponsive (well you get the drift), eventually he opened up and rejoiced being in our group. Alas, is it a case of being too little too late? Mr Paya Lebar, the can-be-considered-deaf personnel! Ahahaha. He is what we perceive as the emotional steel; the one who hardly lets his guard down,he is who I consider to be of a proper manly stature. Mr Tanjong Pagar, who is an old soul at heart. He is like the granddaddy of our group; the one who is in tune with lifestyles of the sixties and beyond. Mr Khatib, the oldest in our group (in terms of birthdays), he is the big brother of us all. Always up for a laugh and most of the time willing to be a listening ear to everyone. Mr Changi! My partner-in-crime. The one who is the most unconventional and sartorially lauded of us all. He was, also for a given period of time, our in-charge during camp matters (a post he would rather lump-dump to someone else wholeheartedly.) Collectively we're known as The Bachins (of course there are cameos from a few people as well, we're like a television show. Or a musical group, with some featuring artistes. LOL!) It's a little interesting how I christened us that name, and I gave credit wholly in due to Mr C constantly calling everyone "bachin" everytime whenever we are in joke disagreements.
2007 and the first half of this year I was in bliss. We were in one another's companies practically every single day of the week, so naturally we grew closer. We spent a lot of time in and out of camp. Saturday meet-ups. Random outings. Spontaneous adventures. Unannounced stay-ins. Photo shoots!!! A lot of activities we generated solely because of the boring weekends and the fact that we could afford it while we still can. Of course whatever goes up has to come down sometimes. There were moments we were left disappointed, sad, anguished. Eventually though everyone never fails to lift one another's spirits through various means. (There was this one time I was really stressed out and everyone was my source of strength. Thank you, boys.)
So what happened? Where did our love go? Is it because one by one everyone starting ORDing that that automatically equates to the seeping away of contact? Or is it because of pride? Do we expect the other person to initiate the move first, before everything else falls back into place like before? I am more inclined to think of the latter lately, not just because of the fact that men have massive egos that needed constant soothing before they back down, but also because this is not the first time I have had to handle such situations. I understand that perhaps everyone is busy with their own lives to live, but just because that constitutes as a plausible reason does not automatically mean that it's a excuse. In fact, I perceive it to be an immensely weak excuse that people use to get out of things. So really- what's the deal? Have we all moved on far too much to even care about everything that we've nurtured over the last one and a half years?
I am not pointing fingers. I hope everyone does not perceive this as the pot calling the kettle black. In fact, I am not in denial over the fact that at times I wish the others would contact me instead; a text, a call, email, snail mail, air mail, Facebook poke... practically any means of communication necessary to get things revving. (Why? Because the whole world revolves around me, naturally. Hah!) Perhaps it is not to be... Aigoooooooo. It's a little sad that things had to come to head like this. I really like these people. But they - and I - can't expect Mr C and myself to constantly be the ones to stir the pot. It's getting a little tiresome how we have to be the ones to do all the work. Not that I will ever relinquish it of course; I would like to think of myself as the one to lead everyone. It's the big brother/firstborn complex. (Don't worry. I'll live. I think.)
I don't know what to think anymore. This outpouring of emotions is leaving me battered and weakened. It's a little distracting and unnerving to do this post up. I had to constant mind myself. Aigooo.
Stay tuned for further updates.
