It's ok.
11 November 2008 @ 11:30 ; 0 CommentsWhat a tangled web we weave.
Yesterday, early evening. I was, as per normal, milling about the house, minding my own business. Sean Dion then buzzed its high pitch tone. A text message. I wondered who it was. Turned out to be a friend who hasn't kept in touch for awhile now. I read the text and was dumbfounded. Apparently I was being blamed for something that I had not - or perhaps have, but could not quite remember - said/done to the texting person. The message was practically dripping with accusatory tones. Granted, not that dramatic, perhaps with a slight hint of friendliness to it? But still, in the end it still reeked of that manner.
Now then, I'm all up for confrontations and all, but only in the right constitution. I mean, if you want to go up against someone because of something that has been performed, then please, by all means go ahead. But don't play games, yeah? Why send a text message that is so ambiguous, so devoid of any human emotions, so mechanical and leave the other party perplexed and trying to recall what previous actions might have elicited such a (strong) reaction from you?
I re-read the text again. By now, imaginary cartoon question marks went off around my head. Naturally, I replied back with the confusion that I was already emoting at that point of time. Really now, what have I said or done? It took a whole half hour later for the other party to reply, and what this person sent back to me was equally confusing as it all the more angered and irritated me - feigning ignorance and throwing back a similar question I posed earlier! The nerve.
I know what you're thinking: I am probably just freaking out over the smallest thing. A missent text message. But then again, this person and everyone else, guilty by association, have done something majorly that has evoked already much stronger reactions previously. Now, I am not a sadistic person. I prefer to give people chances. Unlike others, who would have by now severed ties with these people, deep in my heart I would like to think of the best in everyone. Intrinsically, everyone has their good sides.
So why am I affected so much by just a measly text message? Is it because, deep down, I still have hopes that all of us can get along? Whatever that has been said and done, it's only human, right? We are all humans. We do mistakes. We create mistakes. And sometimes, in fact most of the time, we don't even realize what we have done. We hurt people. We say things we don't mean. We can even destroy lives. All the more because we are only human.
So is it safe to say it's human of this person, this guilty association, to do what they have done? We are friends, all of us. We know one another for the most part. I don't think I have done anything unfriendlylike to trigger so much. Sure, the hurt caused by the other party may have opened up a can of worms, but only to help them see the light. Is it only now they have realized? Or are they still clueless, in the dark, as to what we are trying to reach across? The Queen Bee was right. As men, we need to be more explicit to understand a lot of things.
Am I still overreacting? Perhaps. Perhaps not. A good night's sleep and I am still somewhat troubled by this event. As much as I want to swallow my pride and make up, the stew has brewed and already overcooked. It takes two hands to clap. I did my part - or at least I tried to do my part - and yet the other party did not reciprocate. Pushed away my hand. It's ok. It's cool. I guess the river has run its course. No point coaxing it to flow any more than its due, otherwise it will just flood the banks.
I wish you all the best in your future endeavours. And yes, my conscience is clear. But if you ever need a friend, I am always a dial's away. Just don't send me anything accusatory.
It's ok
I assure you
It's alright
You ain't keeping me up all night
No more
You're not here but it's ok...
