Strangers with candy.
13 January 2009 @ 18:38 ; 0 Comments"Because you are home."
If you know me, you would notice of my enjoyment for horror movies. It's not like I am obsessed with death or offing people or blood or whatever. I just had a traumatic childhood. The people that cared for me died in unwanted circumstances, and I always seemed to be the bear witness of it all. I was raped by my uncle, my parents got divorced, and my sister constantly verbally abused me. It's unfortunate, but it's not like I'm twisted in the head and am preparing to kill the people that I know.
*sharpens knife*
I'm kidding... REALLY! None of the stuff that I listed is true, by the way. I just happened to like them, is all. When I was still a kid, I remembered staying over at a paternal aunt's place and this particular night, the entire household was watching some horror movie about dolls coming to life (not Chucky - please, is that the only movie out there that everyone brings up when a horror movie concerning a doll coming alive is ever mentioned? Geez) and, of course I was freaked out. In my defense- I WAS XX AGE AT THAT TIME! Then I just started watching them and enjoying them.
Again, no twisted fantasies involving mutilating people. Sorry, guys. Ask me again in... erm, 15 years' time.
Right. As I was saying- growing up, horror movies helped desensitize me. But then, none of them were even any good, aye? The movies of the eighties have aged so badly that nowadays you just tend to laugh at them while watching. That was until Scream came along. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. A movie - albeit slasher one, not really the horror kind - that is both suspenseful and smart.
From the stuff I have viewed over the years, I think I have amassed quite a knowledge of how to survive. Yeap, and it doesn't mean you have to remain a virgin until you are dead. Haha! Sorry, Scream wasn't entirely on the dot on that one.
Now, survival tactics? Remember to take them down, y'all!
# Never answer the door if you don't have a peephole. This also helps if you want to drive away pesky salespeople. And even if you do, try not to get too close to it. Saw II had a guy who died while peeping from a gunshot through his eye. Until today I dare not get too close. Heh.
# Once the knocking subsided, NEVER. EVER. SAY. "...HELLO?!..." Or any dialogue of any variation, to be safe. It's a sure-fire way to fall into their trap.
# Always have your handphone with you. It's useful, of course, to call the police. (Don't take heed if they think it's a prank or whatever.) Just remember to switch it to silent mode. Much like while you're in the movies. You may never know if your perpetrator(s) might just come back. As they always do, according to the movies. (Both victims and killers are not very bright, are they?)
# If you are ever unfortunately attacked, always remember to RUN. OUT. THE. DOOR. Yes. Those idiots brandishing knives would be somewhere inside the house by then (hopefully), so it should give you ample time to escape. Don't forget to call the police!
# The most important thing to note, however, is to always think twice if you plan to move to a bigger house. STAY IN YOUR HDB FLATS! (If you do intend to move, you silly bugger, a condo would be nice.) See, there's a reason why random killings don't occur in our homes. How the hell do the killers climb into our flats in the first place? Of course, just because I highlighted this doesn't mean the previous pointers are moot. Just to help you sleep at night.
Alright, alright, I admit the list is a cop out. Much like most "horror" movies nowadays. But those are still vital, yo! It's never wrong to have a knowledge of thoroughly useless information at your disposal. It can be useful... once you move out.
